Friday, November 14, 2014

#SingleGirlProblems: The 6 Reasons I’m An Undateable Girl


Apparently, being single in your twenties is currently some sort of epidemic that comes without explanation. While I am a part of this demographic, I am more than aware of the reasons I am single. It starts off with this: I choose to be.

People bitch and complain about being single, stressing how much they hate it and how it’s such a drag to go through life alone. You know what’s a drag? Having to tell someone what you plan on doing all day long.

Guess what?! This is Dubai, land of the free and home of the brave! I’m going to do whatever the f*ck I want to do today because I feel like it! If I feel like lying in bed for 10 hours on end, watching television while inhaling Domino’s thin crust pizza, I’m going to do just that! And if I’m really feeling it, I’ll do it again tomorrow!

The only person I’m answering to at this point in my life is the deliveryman, and honestly, he’s the only man I need in my life right now. Stop worrying about why you’re single and allow me to provide you with some eye-opening reasons for your relationship status — reasons you may not be aware of!

Sit back and laugh at the possible satirical explanations for why you’re still single, like me:


1) I'd rather stay in than go out.

When the weather is less than ideal, the most enticing place to spend Friday night is most definitely my bed, not the bar. Unfortunately, the only people to bond with during this time are the cast of “Game of Thrones,” as my binge session continues on Popcorn-time.

2) If I do go out, I'm not remembering the majority of it.
No one wants to date a girl who blacks out every time she goes out, do they? Although, guys, at least we don’t judge you when you end your night the same way!


3) I enjoy having the entire bed to myself far too much to share it.
Why choose a side when I have the entire bed to myself? Look at all of this space I have for the clean laundry I don’t feel like putting away!

4) I have an unhealthy relationship with the Internet.
I don’t need my own relationship! I’m too busy trying to keep track of Olivia and Fitz, Derek and Meredith, and Chuck and Blair! It’s exhausting!

5) I'd rather cuddle a pint of Ice Cream.
At least this delicious snack won’t judge me for being myself!

6) I want a relationship for all wrong reason.
It’d be nice not to have to pay for every dinner I eat, on top of my various taxi rides. Also, boyfriends give great birthday gifts!

Credits: Ashley Fern

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